Friends Like These
by Flames101
Summary: 2nd place winner in the Smut-off challenge on facebook. Pairing: JJ/Hotch. Scenario: Pair goes to an adult store only to come home to try out their purchases. I put a little spin on this: JJ and Hotch both inadvertantly end up at the same adult store when their two best friends bring them along for the ride. Rated M.


**A/N:** Hey all. Here's my last minute entry to the Smut-off Challenge hosted on Facebook by Bonesbird and Leila Grant. My chosen pairing was JJ/Hotch and my assigned scenario was: A trip to the adult store and going home to try out their purchases. So, here's me giving this a go. Expect cringe worthy moments…

Let me know what you think. Thanks!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

… **Friends Like These…**

* * *

Hotch kept his eyes lowered demurely. _Damn Rossi to hell. Where the hell did he take me?_ _This was completely ridiculous and… and ridiculous. _

"Relax, Hotch," Rossi told him in an amused tone. He had the nerve to chuckle too. "Want one of these?"

He scrambled to catch whatever it was that he'd thrown his way before it fell to the ground and made a commotion that would draw attention to them. It was bad enough he was here at all, it was even worse that he was with his best friend and co-worker.

He glanced down at the package he held and when he read the word 'Enlarge' on the wrappings he quickly squeezed his eyes shut and pushed it onto the nearest shelf. He heard Rossi laugh again.

"What are we doing here?" Hotch asked tersely. "I thought you said you needed to pick up a few things for Calla before you picked her up at the airport?"

Calla was Rossi's very new girlfriend. They'd met while they were in Detroit on a case. Calla was a pharmaceutical rep and her travel schedule rivaled their own. She was also on her way to becoming wife number four.

"What do you think we're doing here?" Rossi questioned with a raised eyebrow.

Hotch let out a groan. "Dave, have you ever heard the term TMI?"

"TMI?" the older man echoed.

"Too much information," Hotch informed, cringing when he turned to follow Dave into the costume part of the store.

"Hey, you're the one who needed the lift," Rossi shrugged, grinning from ear to ear. The man was enjoying Hotch's discomfort way too much.

It wasn't that Hotch was inexperienced in the ways of sex; he had been married, after all. But, he sure didn't believe that being with a woman needed the kind of help that the store they were current in offered a person.

"Yeah," Hotch stated dryly. "You could have dropped me off, first."

"Too out of the way, this store really is the best," Rossi explained. "They're the only ones that have large—"

Hotch let out another groan. "Dave," Hotch cut him off quickly. "I. Do. Not. Want. To. Know."

Rossi waved his hand at him. "Go over there; stand in the 'safe' part of the store. You're seriously cramping my style."

Hotch shrugged his shoulders. Not one to usually oblige so easily, listening to Rossi this time would satisfy both of them. He made his way through the S&M section, cringing all the way, wondering, what happened to good old fashioned romance…

The section Dave had sent him too was the candy section. Hotch let out a breath in relief. Nothing untoward good possibly be here, he believed.

"Garcia, I can't believe you dragged me here," Hotch heard a familiar voice say in annoyance.

"What, hun, you said it yourself, you've been in a bit of a funk… what better place to go to dig yourself out then an adult toy-store?" Garcia's loud voice proclaimed.

Hotch shook his head. _Figures, Garcia would be an advocate of a place like this._ Nothing could surprise him about that woman.

But he _was_ surprised by her companion, JJ. Though, by her proclamation it seemed she'd been dragged here as well.

"Penelope…" JJ hissed, shushing her.

"What? Just because you haven't gotten laid in over a month doesn't mean you won't?" Garcia rambled on.

_Oh man, _Hotch groaned out for JJ. He could picture the petite blonde's pale cheeks, flaming red.

"And how is an adult store going to help with that?" JJ replied, irritation in her voice.

"Who knows?" Garcia said, absentmindedly. "Maybe you'll meet the guy who'll ignite that burning flame here, and he'll get you out of that rut. Ooh… look at this! It's edible, Kevin will love this!"

"Ok… Pen… I'm going over there, call me when you're done," JJ remarked uncomfortably.

Hotch quickly realized that JJ would soon find him if he didn't find a place to hide soon. But, every which way he looked there was something around that he just didn't want to see.

"Hotch!" JJ exclaimed.

All he could see was blackness. And he wondered if maybe he'd passed out, or maybe he was dreaming—actually, this would probably be more like a nightmare. But, a second later he realized that he'd just squeezed his eyes shut once again.

Tentatively, he opened his eyes to see JJ staring at him strangely. And why wouldn't she be, she'd just found him standing there, in an adult store, with his eyes screwed shut. Damn, could he get any weirder?

"You all right?" she asked unsurely.

"JJ…" he finally spoke. "Um… yeah… yeah, I'm good."

Her face broke out into a radiant smile and he knew the reason why a second later. "Who dragged you here?"

He let out a sigh of relief. She knew him so well. "Dave, he's," he paused, wincing, "picking up a few things for Calla."

JJ laughed out loud at his tone. "Garcia dragged me here," she relayed.

"I heard," he let her know.

He felt like an idiot a second later when she breathed out a surprised, "Oh," and her cheeks flushed that crimson red color that he'd imagined from before.

"I mean… I just heard Garcia… I didn't hear that you're in a funk… I mean, I didn't hear…" Hotch stammered out.

"Hotch, Hotch," JJ called out. "It's ok, it's ok," she assured. "We weren't exactly being quiet… I never figured my boss would be strolling in an adult toy store… it's my fault…"

He let out his breath, expelling the panic he'd felt a moment ago. He really needed to get out of here.

As if reading his mind, JJ took his hand and started to pull him away. "Here," she suggested. "Why don't we wait outside? I'm sure they'll find us when they're ready to go…"

He shot her a grateful smile and allowed her to lead the way. He enjoyed the way her tiny hand wrapped around his larger one.

"Thank you, come again," the person at the cash stated, monotone.

The door tinkled closed and Hotch murmured, "Not bloody likely," causing JJ to chuckle.

"So," JJ said conversationally. "Adult stores, not your thing, huh? You and Beth don't visit them often?"

His cheeks flamed at the thought of him coming here for help/assistance in the bedroom. "No, never? Uh… Beth and I broke up months ago."

"Really?" JJ shot him an intrigued look.

"Oh… uh yeah…" Hotch began. "She figured out that I sort of liked—"

He cut himself off abruptly. _What am I saying? And to her of all people._

"Sort of liked who?" JJ inquired, looking very titillated.

"Someone," he finished simply.

He could not give her the details. Beth had figured out that Hotch was practically in love with the woman standing before him when he, not once, but, twice yelled out JJ's name during some intimate moments between the pair.

The first time he'd done it, he'd explained it off as having a case on his mind that had to do with JJ. The second time, though, in the same month, he had no excuse ready for his girlfriend. Beth had left him pretty quick after that.

"Sounds like why Will and I broke up…" JJ murmured absently.

Hotch had heard that they'd officially split five months ago. He'd never heard the details. At the time, he'd felt mixed emotions for the blonde and her little family. Sad for Henry, for his family breaking up, but happy that JJ was finally free to be pursued. Back then the sadness for the little boy had outweighed his happiness; now, though, as he considered the pretty woman before him all he could feel was happiness.

"Yeah?" he started slowly. "You liked someone else?"

"_Like_," she corrected.

She held his gaze, steadily, her deep blue eyes seeming to pierce his very core. He could tell she was trying to tell him something but he just couldn't put two and two together.

"Like?" he echoed.

"Mmm hmm…" she answered, giving his hand a bit of a squeeze.

His breath hitched as realization was moments away from dawning. Was she trying to tell him what he thought she was trying to tell him?

The door chimed open and they heard their two friends exiting the store loudly, disrupting the moment. JJ let go of his hand abruptly and their locked gaze broke.

"Let me know how the cherry flavor works for you?" Garcia told Rossi. "The lemon-lime is good but, tingles uncomfortably in certain places, if you know what I mean…"

"Sure, and make sure you try the…" Rossi answered, but Hotch decided to tune him out. He was so done with this.

Hotch didn't turn his ears back on until his best friend and technical analyst stood right before them, matching grins covering their faces.

"See, Penelope, I told you they'd find their way to each other," Rossi stated knowingly.

"You did, sir, I should have never doubted you," Garcia added, her own knowing glint in her eye.

"You guys done?" Hotch asked gruffly. He so needed to get out of here.

"In a rush to get to Jack?" Garcia wanted to know.

"No, Jack's staying with his grandparents," Hotch let them know. "I just want to get out of here."

"Well, then, I'm done if you're done, JJ," the analyst announced.

"I'm all finished here," JJ assured, laughingly.

"Let's get going, Aaron," Rossi added, amused.

"Oh, wait, we've got something for you guys," Garcia stopped them.

Hotch cringed as Garcia handed a small plastic bag to JJ and Rossi, an identical one to himself.

"What is it?" Hotch asked worriedly.

"Something to use," Rossi began, "to share with a friend…"

He waggled his eyebrows ridiculously towards him and JJ. What did he think was going to happen? Even if Dave knew that he was in love with the blonde profiler, Hotch knew that JJ liked someone else. Nothing would come of his crush, today at least.

"All right, then," Garcia broadcasted loudly. "We're off!"

JJ gave Hotch a smile and a wave and then chased after her friend.

Hotch watched her curvy body race after their quirky friend longingly. A moment later, Rossi was poking him in the side. "In case you didn't get the hint that," he said pointedly, "is the friend you need to be sharing _that_ with."

Hotch rolled his eyes at his friend and left him there to make his way to Rossi's SUV. _Yeah, right, the only thing I'll be sharing with JJ is horror stories about today…_

* * *

JJ stood patiently as she waited for the door to be answered. She'd rang the doorbell a good minute ago but there was still no answer.

She couldn't believe she was standing there, in front of this particular door. This was a moment she'd dreamed of, fantasized about, a good million times, never believing that it would come true. Still, if he never answered the door the dream could still go unfulfilled. Where was he? She knew from earlier that day that he was housebound and he knew that he was childless for the evening, so why wasn't he answering the door.

When Hotch had told her he'd broken up with Beth months ago and the reason why they'd ended it, JJ couldn't help but let the gears in her head turn. There was something about the way he'd been looking at her when he'd said that he had liked someone else that just clicked for JJ.

She'd had a suspicion for a long time that her Unit Chief may prefer her type of blonde from the way she'd caught him looking at her like a Popsicle he wanted to lick, but she'd never had confirmation.

Tonight, she decided, would be her confirmation.

Going home that night, she couldn't get the dark haired man out of her mind. And to make matters worse the item Garcia had purchased had been staring her right in her face. Top that off with Rossi's parting words, "Share with a friend…" JJ just couldn't shake the conviction that she needed to be at Hotch's place ASAP.

And now here she was, standing on his doorstep, a short, beige trench-coat wrapped around her body. Her every sense was humming this very moment, taking everything in. _Please open the door, Hotch…_ they seemed to say.

Finally, after what was probably too long to be still waiting, the door swung open.

"JJ!" Hotch uttered in surprise.

JJ took in his casual appearance, white t-shirt, grey sweatpants, and wet, tousled hair. He'd just had a shower, she surmised.

"Hello, Aaron," she greeted, testing out his first name.

"Uh… what are you doing here?" he asked hesitantly; she watched him take in her appearance from the bottom of her black heeled feet, up her long bare legs, all the way up to linger momentarily at the small v the coat exposed of her chest. He was wondering what she was wearing underneath, she knew. _Good…_

"Can I come in?" she asked assertively.

He still looked a bit unsure, but held the door open for her nonetheless. She walked in purposefully, no looking back now. _This was it._

Hotch shut the door behind them and proceeded to lead the way to his living room. JJ had been there only once, but she'd made sure she'd memorized the layout. She liked to have realistic fantasies. There was the couch that they'd made love on every which way, there was the kitchen counter that he'd taken her on over and over again… all in her dreams, of course.

"JJ?"

She turned around to see him watching her suspiciously. Good. He was right to be suspicious. She so had ulterior motives for being there. This was not a friendly type of visit.

"Hotch…" she started slowly, she took a few steps towards him, making sure she swayed her hips from side to side. The way he watched her, she'd accomplished her goal of getting his attention. "Did you take a look at what Rossi bought for you?"

"Uh… no," he replied tentatively. "Should I have?"

She smirked at him. "Oh, definitely."

He held her gaze a moment before he picked the bag up off the floor. It had been sitting next to the coffee table as if he'd just tossed it aside offhandedly. He reached his hand inside, not taking his eyes off of her while he did so. His eyes were definitely on the hungry side, and with any luck she'd be feeding him tonight.

His hand pulled back a second later and they both looked down at what Rossi had purchased for him. It was a small box. JJ took one more step towards him; a foot separated them, now she could see what exactly the box contained. Fluorescent colored condoms.

Hotch groaned out loud. "Only Dave…" he breathed out.

JJ chuckled. "That's nothing," JJ started innocently. "You should see what Penelope bought for me…"

"What?" he asked bewilderedly.

"You want to see?" she asked again, to make sure.

"Yeah." He shrugged his shoulders. "Could it be as suggestive as this?" he wondered harmlessly.

"Oh, it can," she assured.

JJ stepped back from her boss and pulled at the belt around her waist. It came undone easily. Then came the buttons, one by one, she popped them open.

"JJ? What are you—" he began, but a hiss of pleasure cut his words short, when in the next moment, she slipped the trench-coat off her shoulders to let it pool around her feet.

His eyes practically bugged out of their sockets as he took her in. A second later, she could see the glaze of desire brush over his dark orbs. That combined with the initial hiss of pleasure told her that she probably wasn't wrong about coming here.

"You like?" she asked, staring from him down at herself. She looked down at the red bodysuit and garter combination lingerie that Garcia had purchased for her. It didn't leave much to the imagination, it being practically see-through, but, she liked to think that it emphasized her best features. Glancing back up at Hotch to catch him gulp down visibly, she had to believe that he agreed too.

"Uh…" he stuttered out.

_Uh oh,_ she thought. _Maybe this was too much too fast._

She took another step towards him, his eyes flashed across her nervously. She put her hands up on his forearms, massaging gently; she so wanted to put him at ease.

She was still shorter than him, even in her black heels, so she stood up on her toes so that she could lean into him. JJ hovered her lips overtop of his, letting her eyes flutter from his lips to his eyes and back again. She wanted him to get used to the proximity of her and she could hear his breathing pick up. Her hands trailed up his arms and down over his chest where his heart was beating at a wild pace. JJ glanced back up into his eyes, gone was the anxious look, replaced by lust.

Tilting her head to the side, her lips brushed against the underside of his jaw sending a jolt of electricity down her spine to settle in the pit of her belly. She heard his breath hitch. She continued up to his ear, taking a risk as she pulled the lobe between her lips, sucking gently and then letting her teeth graze the tender skin.

"Aaron…" she breathed out into his ear.

Not touching her yet, he took hold of her wandering arms, grasping them tightly, halting their beginning path downwards.

"… it's edible…" she finished.

His hands suddenly went around her body then, pulling her flush against him. She had but a moment to look into his eyes to see the reaction her words and gestures caused—hunger—before he crashed his mouth overtop of hers.

Somehow, they reached what could only be Hotch's bedroom. He released her gently, only to urge her to lie back on the bed. JJ opened her eyes to gaze out hazily. She was surprised to see Hotch completely naked, having barely any memory of releasing him from his clothes.

Her gaze trailed from his strong chest, marred only by the nine, little jagged marks, down where the dusting of hair trailed down markedly. She took him in, he was hard, for her. It was a heady feeling to know you caused that much desire in a person.

"Aaron, come here," she pleaded; her words and tone surprising her. "I want you, now…"

His eyes widened at her demand, but, he didn't hesitate. He climbed onto the bed, crawling towards her until he leaned his long body half over top of hers.

Not wanting to wait, she reached for him, caressing the length of him, before giving him a firm squeeze.

He grabbed hold of her hand, stopping her. She looked up at him quizzically wondering why he would stop her when his body throbbed for more.

He smirked at her. "I think," he began slowly, fingering the strap of the concoction she was wearing. "It's only right we see what this is all about first…"

Her mouth formed an 'o' in wonder before she nodded out her agreement. His finger quickly traced a line from the strap down towards the uncovered valley between her breasts. She shivered in anticipation at the simple touch. His head bent low and she felt his lips press an identical path into her skin, stopping momentarily to hover above one already pert covered nipple

Without warning, Hotch closed his mouth around the peak, swirling his tongue around the bud, lathing it, before sucking hard. She gasped at the touch, moaning her approval at being sucked before his hand came up to squeeze its twin. JJ could hear his pleased moan through the noises she was making.

"What's it taste like…" she muttered, as he brushed his teeth across the sensitive tip causing her to hiss out her words.

He pulled back briefly, coming up to hover over her lips. He let his tongue peak out before touching his mouth to hers. She tasted sweetness, but she couldn't put her finger on what exactly it was.

All too quickly, Hotch was pulling back. His mouth closing around the previously un-sucked breast, he pulled the nipple between his lips, pulling sharply.

"Ah…" she groaned out at the sudden movement. "I… I still don't know what that flavor is…"

Her breathing was coming out in short spurts now as his lips trailed a path downwards. "No?" he murmured against the flesh of her hip. "Let me try somewhere else…"

She felt his hand trail down her thigh before he grabbed her knee and pushed it to the side. Lost in the sensations, JJ was caught off guard when she felt his mouth touch her intimately.

"Oh… man…" she groaned out.

He didn't stop there, his mouth sucked on her, lapped at her and just when she thought she couldn't take any more, two of his fingers were suddenly there, pushing into her.

"Oh… oh… ah," she moaned, feeling the tension build in the pit of her stomach. "Oh… yes… yes… ah…"

It was a moment before she could see straight. When she finally blinked away the haze of desire she saw Hotch leaning over top of her, the red of her outfit smeared across his lips. Without thinking, she reached out a finger and rubbed it against his lips; pulling her finger back, she put it in her mouth for a taste.

"Mmm…" she murmured approvingly. "Red velvet…"

His eyes darkened to almost black with want. He chuckled. "Took that to get you to figure it out?"

She shrugged her shoulders as she reached for him. "Maybe… maybe I just wanted your mouth on me…"

He pressed his lips to hers, hungrily kissing her. She reached for his hips, urging him over top of her as she nudged her legs apart for him to settle there. She could feel him poking against her. All it would take was one firm thrust for them to be joined in pure ecstasy.

"Hotch… Aaron…" she said, voice hoarse. "I need… I need you…"

He pressed a kiss over her heart, while she reached for him.

"Wait… JJ…" he breathed out.

She shot him a frown as he pulled away from her. Just where did he think he was going? He was off the bed and out of the room before she could even say anything. Confused, she propped herself up onto her elbows, awaiting his return.

Only when he returned did she figure out what they'd been waiting for. He held up the box of fluorescent condoms that Dave had purchased probably just for them. He ripped the box open, grinning. "What color would you like?"

"I'm feeling neon green tonight," she replied, amusedly.

Without waiting for him to reach her, JJ eagerly crawled towards him, taking the small square from his hands. Swiftly, she ripped open the small package, pulling out the sheath from inside.

"Here, let me help," she offered eagerly.

Hotch hadn't even gotten two words out when she was taking hold of him and rolling the green over top of him.

"It glows in the dark," she mused.

He laughed heartily at that. "We're going to have to find some way to thank Dave and Garcia for this…"

JJ crawled backwards on the bed, grinning. "I'm sure we'll find some way… now, come here…"

Hotch didn't have to be told twice. In the next second he was back to his previous position. Over top of her, ready for that one hard push.

She couldn't wait; grabbing hold of him JJ helped him slide into her. She hissed at the pleasure of the contact and appreciated his own pleasured moan.

"Oh… God… JJ," he let out.

"Move Aaron," she urged.

Hotch began a slow, steady rhythm, pushing in and out of her. The tension, pleasure building with each caress until they were both crying out each other's names over and over again.

* * *

The next day at work, Hotch and JJ quickly found and cornered Dave and Garcia alone. They'd been laughing heartily at some shared joke. But, when they saw the faces of their two best friends, it was hard to keep the anxiety off their faces.

"It was a joke," Garcia caved first. "We're sorry!"

"We shouldn't have meddled," Rossi allowed grudgingly. "Our intentions were good."

Both JJ and Hotch shared a look before handing them an envelope each, wordlessly. The pair walked away with un-seen smirks on their faces.

Garcia and Rossi shared a confused look before tearing open the envelopes. Inside, they each found a thank you card and something else.

Garcia held out the something else to Rossi to inspect at the same time Rossi did with his. "A… membership card…"

They shared another confused look before putting two and two together.

"Oh my—" Rossi began.

"—God!" Garcia finished.

They rushed after their best friends having many questions for the pair.

"JJ!"

"Hotch!"

* * *

Well… um… I hope you enjoyed… lol.

Again, please let me know what you think! Thanks!


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